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MElyse
23, Western Ohio
Posts: 17
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 Posted: Thu Jan 24, 08 12:13 pm |
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hmm... I've always wanted 6: 4 boys and 2 girls. I want it to be boy, boy, boy, girl, boy, girl. I know that's not really probable, but that's what I've always imagined!
Most people with 7+ kids don't take care of them. They usually homeschool them, but the kids rarely do school. And then the parents rely on the older siblings to care for the younger siblings which is wrong, wrong, WRONG!
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micalamerryCHRISTmas
30, *Colorado*
Posts: 4826
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| Posted: Thu Jan 24, 08 9:44 pm |
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^ well, I have to disagree with that statement. There are 7 children in our family. All very well educated. My one brother was the top in his EMT class, and is continuing his studies. My younger brother will join the Police Academy soon. But above all that...we were VERY loved and cared for. Maybe that's due to my extremely unselfish parents....
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Doris
22, Minnesota
Posts: 45
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| Posted: Fri Jan 25, 08 5:46 pm |
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| MElyse wrote: | | Most people with 7+ kids don't take care of them. They usually homeschool them, but the kids rarely do school. And then the parents rely on the older siblings to care for the younger siblings which is wrong, wrong, WRONG! |
I have to strongly disagree too. The family I live with have 11 kids and one more on the way, plus me(i've been here for a little over 2 yrs), and they are very caring, loving parents, and they take care of us very good. we may not get the material things we want, but all are needs are met and we have plenty of school that we do do!
Also the parents don't always rely on the older kids occasionally we are needed to help get the little one ready if in a hurry....
So I do strongly disagree (sorry)
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Sarai
28, East Coast
Posts: 1065
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| Posted: Fri Jan 25, 08 6:34 pm |
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| MElyse wrote: | | Most people with 7+ kids don't take care of them. They usually homeschool them, but the kids rarely do school. And then the parents rely on the older siblings to care for the younger siblings which is wrong, wrong, WRONG! |
I have to agree that there are some families with lots of kids who don't do a really good job, BUT:
- That is definitely not a problem limited to large families. I've seen many many families with only a few children who take very poor care of them. I think it's just a fact of life that some parents don't care for their kids...regardless of how many they have.
(and by "not care for" I'm talking about: not bathing them regularly, not cleaning their clothing, dressing them inappropriately for the weather, not combing their hair, feeding them unhealthy foods and over or under feeding them, not buckling them in while driving, etc.)
- You're right about some homeschool families rarely doing schoolwork. And it does seem to happen more in families with lots of kids (in my experience, at least). But I do have to say that it's certainly not a problem limited to families with over 7 kids! IMO, if a child graduates able to read well, write well, do basic math, and knows something about science and history, they'll be ahead of quite a few public school graduates in this country. Sure, we all think homeschool graduates should be "better", but they don't really need to be.
- I do have to agree with you on the "wrongness" of parents using siblings to raise siblings. There's a difference between having an older child help out once in a while, and giving much of the daily care, discipline, and schooling of a young child to an older sibling. I've seen it happen in several families I know with 7-13 kids. I think a 12 year old girl should be able to do her schoolwork without being constantly interrupted by the toddler she's supposed to be "watching". It's very difficult to get anything done when mom is always saying, "Can you get him for me? Can you pour him some juice? Help him with his coat. Get him off the piano, please. Can you wash off his face? He's been in the bathroom for a long time...go see what he's doing." I don't believe it's a child's job to watch another child all the time...and I know several girls (from different families) who are totally burned out by it. Even at church you see them following around their younger siblings, keeping them out of trouble while mom holds another child, or stands talking to friends. There's a difference between having your child help and having your child act as the free full-time babysitter.
If you can't tell, that's a pet peeve of mine.  If it's YOUR child...YOU watch them! I know a homeschool family that does what I think is a wonderful job of caring for their 7 children. They are well-educated (the oldest 2 had no trouble getting into the colleges of their choice), and it's clear that their mother and father are capable of caring for, WATCHING, and disciplining all of their children by themselves. The mother always kept the younger children from bothering the older ones when they were doing schoolwork or just having time to themselves. The children were all helpful, but it was very clear who was the mother and who were the children (none of this "little parent syndrome", where older kids care for younger kids). I'd like to model some of my own child-rearing after her example. 
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Odin
25, Back in the shadows
Posts: 2372
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| Posted: Fri Jan 25, 08 8:06 pm |
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| MElyse wrote: |
Most people with 7+ kids don't take care of them. They usually homeschool them, but the kids rarely do school. And then the parents rely on the older siblings to care for the younger siblings which is wrong, wrong, WRONG! |
Wow, you got really got jumped on with this statement. I'm going to join the dog pile, too. 
I'd like to know why you think it's wrong for the older to care for the younger? It's quite natural for them to want to ("Mommy can I please hold/feed/watch the baby?") And we are our brother's keeper.
It's a great way to teach responsibility and begin a lifelong relationship.
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Ashlie A.
25, North Texas
Posts: 1429
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| Posted: Fri Jan 25, 08 9:09 pm |
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| Odin wrote: | | MElyse wrote: |
Most people with 7+ kids don't take care of them. They usually homeschool them, but the kids rarely do school. And then the parents rely on the older siblings to care for the younger siblings which is wrong, wrong, WRONG! |
Wow, you got really got jumped on with this statement. I'm going to join the dog pile, too.
I'd like to know why you think it's wrong for the older to care for the younger? It's quite natural for them to want to ("Mommy can I please hold/feed/watch the baby?") And we are our brother's keeper.
It's a great way to teach responsibility and begin a lifelong relationship. |
Personally, I don't think there's a problem with older siblings helping with the younger. Like you said, it's completely natural for them to do so. I don't think it's healthy when older children are expected to practically raise younger siblings because the parents have their hands full with too many little ones. Yes, many large families do successfully raise children without burdening the older ones, but it doesn't always work out that way. I think that if older children are being forced to take on the role of parents, it's time to stop having children.
Ashlie
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Sarai
28, East Coast
Posts: 1065
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| Posted: Fri Jan 25, 08 9:12 pm |
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| MElyse wrote: | | then the parents rely on the older siblings to care for the younger siblings |
To add to my already much-to-long post above, I will say that I think the key word here is RELY. If a mother RELIES on her older children to care for the younger ones, then she is obviously not capable of caring for them herself. I think this also tends to lead to "What Happened To Discipline After the Third Child?" syndrome. WHTDATC syndrome occurs when a family has two or three well-behaved children, but then, for some reason, decide to continue having children but stop disciplining them. At age 6 the older three were a pleasure to be around. At the same age, number 6 or 7 is a terror. What happened? My personal theory behind WHTDATC is that parents begin to RELY (there's that word again) too heavily on their older children, and start to push some of the job of discipling onto them as well. This obviously leads to children who are not as well behaved. Also, if mom doesn't have to constantly watch (aka: deal with) her own children, she are less likely to discipline them...because, hey - one of the older kids can just chase them around the store. It's cute now that 11-year-old Sally is there to hold little Adam while he screams and kicks. Wasn't so cute when MOM actually had to do it (aka: when mom actually acted like the mom...back when she could count her children on one hand).
But this is WAY off topic...sorry!
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JosiahandMelody
24, OH
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Posts: 16
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| Posted: Tue Feb 12, 08 10:00 pm |
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Here is my philosophy regarding the number of children:
“How can you have too many children? That’s like saying there are too many flowers.”
-Mother Teresa
Last edited by JosiahandMelody on Tue Feb 12, 08 10:01 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Rachel Kirby
23, Happyness
Posts: 156
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| Posted: Wed Mar 12, 08 7:42 pm |
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Lots! That's all I can say! I've always felt that God wanted me to be a mother and have lots of children and teach and take care of them. I don't have any numbers....any number sounds good to me!
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A Daughter of God
27, Washington
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Sun Mar 16, 08 1:32 pm |
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I believe God in in controll of the womb. Children our God's little gifts and he knows how many each couple is able to raise for his glory. If God grants me children, I want as many as he will give.
My mother, due to a disease shortly before marriage to my dad, had to have half of her reproductive organs removed or she could have died. Thankfully this disease should not be passed down to my sister or I. My mom and dad thought that they would end up adopting children. God surprised them with a bundle of love 9 months after they were married...me. My mom did miscarriage twice in between my brother and I, and once between my brother and younger sister. My mom felt blessed to have only three children and was content. She would have liked more, but God knew her health only could handle three of us. My mom told me how special it was growing up in a family of 6 siblings and I have witnessed large families growing up. I would love to have a big family myself.
I pray God sends a young man with the same convictions!
Rachelle
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A Daughter of God
27, Washington
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Sun Mar 16, 08 1:57 pm |
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I belive God is in controll of the womb. Children are God's little bundels of love. God knows how many each couple can raise for his glory. So I look forward to trusting Him for children and pray He grants me many.
My mom, due to a disease, had to have half of her reproductive organs surgicaly removed before my mom married my dad, otherwise she might have died. They thought they were going to have to adopt children. 9 months later after they were married, God blessed them with a little bundle of joy...me. My mom then miscarried twice between my me and my brother, and then once between my brother and younger sister. Although my parents were content with the three children God blessed them with, they would have liked more. They knew that God knew how much my mom's health could take.
My mom shared how growing up in a family of 6 siblings was fun, how she loved big families. I have also witnessed big families and look forward to someday, God willing, I too will have a big family to care for.
I pray God will bring a young man into my life with the same convictions!
Rachelle
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MRS. STEIN
24, Ohio
Posts: 273
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| Posted: Sun Jan 04, 09 7:21 pm |
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I want to follow God's will for every area of my life, and this includes children. It is my hope that He will bless me with at least 7 (biologically), and I hope for more, but, if He chooses to give me less, I will accept it as cheerfully as if He had given me many. I would love to adopt as well, but only if the Lord wills, and my (future) husband agrees. Right now though, I'm just waiting for His right man to find me.
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Sheila Billings
32, El Paso, Texas
Posts: 150
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| Posted: Mon Jan 05, 09 2:30 pm |
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We have been trying for 3 years and haven't had 1 yet. Don't get too wrapped up in your high numbers and forget that God may choose for you not to have any.
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Katie
22, Western NY state
Posts: 157
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| Posted: Tue Jan 06, 09 4:09 pm |
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| Ashlie A. wrote: | I definitely respect women who want a large family, but there are a lot of reasons why think a smaller family (3-5 kids probably) would be better for me.
I was also wondering if anyone else hopes to adopt? I want to have at least one child biologically, but I also want to adopt children if at all possible.
Ashlie |
Besides having my own, I would love to adopt too... both of my younger brothers (ages 3 & 4) are adopted, and it's such a blessing. There are so many children out there in need of good homes, but they are often getting the ones that lack the "good" in them. It's a chance to really make a difference in the life of a child. And I can say through the experience, even when they are adopted, it's still very easy to love them like your very own.
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Emily Ruth
23, OR
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Posts: 208
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| Posted: Wed Mar 04, 09 12:52 pm |
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My mom had me and 5 boys before I finally got 2 sisters... need I mention that I was asked to do more housework than most girls my age?
I suppose it could be called 'burnout' to have to place so much extra responsibility on an older sibling's shoulders, but some girls today tend to spend most of their time fixing their hair or talking on the phone or going to the mall - what's so bad about working hard at home instead? No, I'm not going to college, but not from lack of scholastic ability. Who knows, perhaps instead I am learning valuable skills that can actually apply to raising my own family someday (imagine that)!
Since my folks never planned on having more than my older brother and I, I know how God's plans so often are the opposite of ours! I may never get married, I may never have kids, God may send me to Kiev to run an orphanage... but I have resolved to let Him be my portion now and forever.
I want at least a dozen However, my strength and ability is totally inadequate, so I would have to rely on God to prove Himself mighty in that situation.
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